Ruth Paris
        Coaching Support and Help for Teenagers

We all started out with a beautiful baby, amazed by the power of our love for this perfect, tiny person. As they grew, we nurtured every step, agonised over first days at playgroup and then school, proudly witnessing their small triumphs and delights, doing absolutely everything we could to ensure their happiness and well-being and to give them the best start in life we possibly could.

Then something awful started to happen... we had joked about it, and told our own funny stories about the ghastly things we got up to as teenagers, secretly thinking our own parenting would make it different... yet, somehow, some horrible, uncontrollable metamorphosis was taking place. Our sweet, loving, happy, active child has turned into somebody we don't recognise, somebody who won't talk to us, and however hard we try, seems daily to sink deeper into a world we don't understand and can't relate to...

It is scary and frustrating and infuriating and exhausting and depressing and seems to be unending. Having a troubled teenager in the family can be the cause of immense unhappiness - a complex combination of guilt, fury, love and despair, with no sense of how it will ever change.

Although surrounded by books, articles and well-meaning advice, these can sometimes make us feel inadequate when the recommended strategies don't work. In fact, there comes a time when trying too hard can have the opposite effect. This is exactly when outside help can be particularly effective.

Without any history or assumptions, I am in the privileged position to listen to and get to understand your teenager just as he or she is NOW - free of any expectation, disappointment or emotional ties.

As we progress, I will help your teenager to understand more clearly what is currently happening, and start to identify what they really want. We then look at what is the best way for them of achieving this, what barriers are in the way, what fears and worries may be blocking them, and what the options are for moving forward. Taking responsibility for this process can be very rewarding for young people, experiencing taking charge of their own actions and their consequences in the 'real world' sometimes for the first time.

My experience is that most young people, however seemingly intractible, are actually really willing to find a positive way forward; often they have just run out of alternatives to their 'difficult' behaviour and don't know what else to do. Coaching provides them with a respectful and safe space to take charge of their lives again, and to go through the necessary transitions in their relationship with the important people in their lives - something that parents also have to adjust to, sometimes having to let go of their son or daughter's childhood in ways that can be difficult for them too.

The good news is that most young people, and most parents, find their way through to a stable and rewarding adult relationship. Coaching is a very practical and effective way of accelerating and facilitating the process.

I trust that this site is of some help and reassurance to you. If you have further questions or would like to discuss your situation further, please feel free to contact me by email at ruth@ruthparis.com

With best wishes,
Ruth

PS To cheer yourself up, or to show your teenager that you do really care, you may like to send some of my FEEL GOOD TEXTS, which has categories ranging from stress relief to inspirational quotations and health and wellbeing.

'Working with Ruth helped Jamie to get clear about why he was having problems at school and to find his own way to deal with them. He came home full of energy and focused action, quite different from the taciturn, unhappy boy I had been so concerned about. We both felt delighted to have found a positive way forward.' S.Thomas, parent